Eileen Reads Twilight: Chapter Two: "In Which Dinner Is Served, Along With Rigid Gender Roles"

I apologize about the delay in getting this Chapter out. I just moved and things are pretty hectic. We're moved in the new apartment, but now there is all the unpacking to do.

Oh, and the worst part: I won't have internet for another week.

Bella starts Chapter Two proclaiming that, “The next day was better… and worse.”

Better because Bella is getting acclimated at her new school and she’s starting to make friends. And worse because, among other things, Edward Cullen wasn’t at school.

Wait, what?

So this guy, a total stranger, has been giving Bella dagger eyes and I-hope-you-shrivel-up-and-die glares and she is disappointed that he is not at school?

Okay, this shit is gonna get biographical for a minute. When I was a sophomore at high school there was a guy who sat next to me in History. He was reading a book and because I am a simple creature who likes books, I asked him about it. He told me about the book and we chatted for approximately two minutes before the teacher brought the class to order. 

The next day the boy passed me a handwritten note and instructed me to read it after class. At home I took the crumpled note out of my pocket and read it. In the letter my classmate said that he could read minds. Because of his mind reading ability evil men were after him and would try to kill him. By being his friend I would be putting myself in grave danger, but he would protect me. 

The letter continued in the same unhinged manner. I didn’t (and to this day still don’t) think he was joking or trying to play a prank. He seemed to genuinely believe he had this power. I was scared. If you are crazy enough to believe you can read minds, you might be crazy enough to do a lot of things. I had no idea what to do and I had no one I could turn to. Looking back I should have told a teacher or given the note to a counselor or someone, but instead I shoved it in the back of my sock drawer and buried it, where it remained for years. 

The next day at school I sat as far away from him as possible and ignored him whenever he tried to engage me in conversation. Had he not shown up for school the next day I would have been relieved. But Bella would rather have the creep at school. Why, I am not quite sure, Bella says she wants to confront him, but then immediately rejects the idea:

Part of me wanted to confront him and demand to know what his problem was. While I was lying sleepless in my bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I knew myself too well to think I would really have the guts to do it. 

But if not to confront him, why is Bella upset that he isn’t at school? Is this Smeyer’s trying to have Bella be ‘mysteriously drawn’ to Edward? It just sounds like she is confused.

Bella has several emails from her mother, Renee. Among other things her mother is asking her if she knows where her pink blouse is. Because, as we’ve established earlier, Renee = a helpless baby panda.

Because being an adult is hard! 

Luckily, even thousands of miles away, Bella is able to be the mommy and remind her mother the blouse is at the dry cleaners. Whew, mystery solved. 

Bella is pretty exasperated that her mother is contacting her (I thought they were supposed to be BFFs?) and writes back a short note. 

I was well aware that Twilight, and Smeyer herself, have some messed up ideas about gender roles. But I’m a little taken aback about how blatant they are. 

Evidently, Charlie can’t “cook much besides fried eggs and bacon.” And so Bella takes over that particular domestic chore. I have no problems with women cooking if that’s what they want to do, but the rapidity in which Bella and Charlie lock themselves into rigid gender roles is a little eerie. Charlie comes home to the smell of steaks and potatoes wafting from the kitchen. 

He seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen doing nothing; he lumbered into the living room to watch TV while I worked. We were both more comfortable that way. I made a salad while the steaks cooked and set the table.  

I called him in when dinner was ready, and he sniffed appreciatively as he walked into the room. 

“Smells good, Bell.” 

“Thanks.” 

We ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Neither of us was bothered by the quiet. In some ways, we were well suited for living together.

Does that really read like a scene between father and daughter? It’s especially vexing because Renee’s (Bella’s mom) less than stellar cooking stills are highlighted earlier. And after his wife left him, Charlie supposedly never learned to cook anything, because that’s a woman’s job. Charlie feels awkward in the kitchen. The kitchen he has lived in for decades, because that’s a woman’s domain and he belongs on the couch watching television and presumedly having a beer. 

During dinner, Bella brings up the Cullens and Charlie launches into a bizarrely impassioned defense of the family. It’s actually creepy how enamored he is with them. It sounds like he has been brainwashed. Even Bella notes that it was “the longest speech I’d ever heard Charlie make.” 

Bella backpedals and shyly notes that the Cullens are all very attractive.

“You should see the doctor.” Charlie said laughing. “It’s a good thing he’s happily married. A lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around.”

Because we women are so vapid that we can’t concentrate on our work in the presence of a shiny bauble, even if that work happens to be the business of saving lives. I work with doctors and medical providers every day. Some of them are quite attractive. Guess what? I do my fucking job anyway. 

After dinner Charlie helps her clear the table, but leaves her to wash the dishes by herself. Because, again, that’s a woman’s job. 

I could feel a tradition in the making.

So can I Bella. So can I.

So an uneventful (meaning no Edward) week passes at school. The next day Bella notices the Cullens in the cafeteria, laughing after a snowball fight. In Biology Bella has no choice but to sit next to Edward again, but this time he seems much more friendly and he even speaks to her. He introduces himself and knows her name because:

“Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town’s been waiting for you to arrive.” 

I grimaced. I knew it was something like that. 

No, it sounds more like Bella is starring in her very own Truman show. Everyone does seem to treat her like she’s not just the star of the show, but the very star the earth revolves around.

They have a lab together and exchange flirtatious banter. Their hands touch as they are passing a slide and Bella feels the requisite Electric Jolt of True Wuv and also that Edward’s fingers are ice-cold. She notices that his eyes now seem to be amber, rather than black as they were the first time she met him. This is Mysterious. 

Once again Bella has done this lab again so she can show off how smart she is. Even though it would be more impressive if she could do it correctly without having done the lab before. I have no idea why Smeyer keeps doing this. To prove to the reader the superiority of the Phoenix school system? 

Edward pries, asking a bunch of personal questions about her family. Bella is annoyed, but answers them anyway. Edward acts mysterious. This is also Mysterious.

Chapter Three will be posted next Friday, and then on the beginning of December I'll have some exciting news about this blog. If you want the latest updates, you can follow me on Twitter. As always, please comment and thanks for reading! 

See you next week!